No More Mr. Nice Guy

A few days ago someone mentioned to me that I'm not what they would consider a "Nice Guy." At first I was taken aback (I can't believe "aback" is really a word). I thought I WAS a nice guy. This morning I had a breakthrough (eh) and I wrote a letter to this person. Here it is:

I realized something a few minutes ago. I realized that I don't expect to be thought of as a Nice Guy. I don't think I am particularly. I'm quite smarmy and critical and I tease people and I'm definitely kind of a jerk. What I want to be is a Good Guy. As long as, when people talk about me, they can conclude that, overall, I'm a Good Guy (as in, I won't do you wrong or try to screw you over, etc, not as in Good Guy/Bad Guy movie matchup), I'm okay with that. I don't want to be thought of as gullible and an easy target, but I want people to know that my heart is in the right place and I care for animals and living things and all that. I think I am Good. Not Ideal. Far from perfect or even great, but I think I am good. I don't have a lot of enemies. I don't think there are a lot of people who would call me a f-ing a-hole. Not people who know me, anyway. So, though I admit I'm not interested in working on being a Nice Guy, if I'm falling short of Good Guy I want to know, because that's something I'd like to work on.

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